Full disclosure here folks. I have done it, I just couldn’t help myself and I even knew it was wrong when it came out of my face. I have played soccer all my life and at times I have just blurted out instructions. In my defense, I am now nearly fully reformed and these days it is mostly done under my breath so only I (an occasionally my wife) can hear. Yes, get the “stink eye” from my bride if it happens. I can empathize with the “coachy” parents in the group but I also know why it is a very bad habit to have and one you should try to eliminate.
Youth sports coaches work on things with their players during the week. A large part of developing as a player is learning to recognize situations in the games and making decisions based on those observations. Players and coaches work on those game situations in practice and hope that they will come up during the game. Coaches want to see them recognize a situation and make a decision. HERE IS THE IMPORTANT PART—Making the wrong decision is just as valuable as making the right one. They learn from both. It is the recognition and decision that is important, not the outcome. What happens when a parent yells instructions to their kid is that the kid is going to try to do what their parent is telling them to do. That eliminates their opportunity to make a decision and there are only so many opportunities per game. These well meaning parents are actually inhibiting the development of their player.
Beyond slowing the development of your player, coaching from the sidelines also sucks the fun out of playing for the kids. They want to learn and compete and have fun with their buddies. It is hard to do that when mom and dad are flipping out on the sidelines. We all know the massive benefits sports teach our kids about teamwork, sacrifice, pushing your limits and learning how to win and lose with honor. As parents, we wouldn’t intentionally do anything to take any of that away. The problem is, we get caught up in wanting them to win. We take a short-term view of youth sports and try to influence the outcome. For me, when I began to understand that DEVELOPMENT was the real goal and not wins and losses, everything changed. I stopped giving instructions and started giving encouragement.
When that happened, my kids began to enjoy sports more and develop far faster. That is all I wanted for them anyway. I just didn’t understand how important my behavior was to their success.
So if you suffer from the same affliction, take a deep breath at your next youth sports event, keep your mouth closed and let them play. See what happens.
Don’t just take it from me. Check out some of the research out there and follow some of the youth sports game changers below. The more you know, the better you can be.